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  Under The Influence - Bar Jokes - Drowning At The Guinness Brewery

 
 Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan
 arrives at her door.
 
 "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."
 
 "Of course you can come in. You're always welcome, Tim. But
 where's my husband?"
 
 "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an
 accident down at the Guinness brewery."
 
 "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."
 
 "I must, Brenda.  Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm
 sorry."
 
 Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen,  Tim?"
 
 "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout
 and drowned."
 
 Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least
 go quickly?"
 
 "Well, no Brenda, no."
 
 "No?"
 
 "Fact is, he got out three times to pee."

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